Posted in grief

Six Months

Mom, you left us six months ago today. My heart hurts. I’m still trying to find my way in this new reality. I still can’t find the words to express all that fills my heart. I miss you more than I knew I could miss anyone.

I love you, Mom.

Mom and me at Lookout Mountain 1980
Posted in grief

Not at all Wordless Wednesday

Most of you know my Mom died in February very unexpectedly and at a very young 72 years old. I’ll be honest, I’ve struggled with grief. All the stages. Sometimes all the stages in one hour.

On Tuesday I received an email from Dad that kind of brought that part of grief that’s a deep, deep sadness to the surface. Her headstone is finally placed.

Thanks to Dad’s military career, they both qualify to be buried at Arlington National Cemetery. That’s where she is. He’ll join her there eventually. (God, please not soon.)

As with all government run entities, actions take way more time than they should. She died February 24, was buried April 8, and we just now have a headstone.

But it’s here and it makes this all oh so real all over again.

Mom I miss you more than I could have ever imagined missing anyone. My faith tells me you are in heaven awaiting the rest of us and spending time with those who’ve gone before. I cling to that. But oh how I miss you.

Mom’s headstone at Arlington National Cemetery

Posted in General

Mother’s Day 2019

Mom holding me the day she brought me home after having me.

Today is another first without Mom. The first Mother’s Day. It’s still hard. It’s still impossible to understand that she’s not here, that I can’t just pick up the phone and call her.

Grief work is hard. Still. But I do know God is good and His GRACE will see me through this. I know that eventually I will smile instead of cry when I remember.

Happy Mother’s Day in heaven, Mom. I love and miss you.

Posted in General

The Deepest Grief

I know I mentioned earlier this year I planned to create, and stick to, a blogging schedule. Well, the best laid plans…yada, yada, yada.

On February 24th my mother died suddenly. She was buried at Arlington National Cemetery April 8th.

Blogging seemed not so important for the past few weeks. Honestly, I couldn’t even write in my journal for the first week after she died. I’m slowly getting back in the swing of words.

So, I’m participating in Camp NanoWriMo this month. My goal is 10,000 words. The writing stinks. Seriously. But I’ve got to make myself do it.

I’m learning that grief is not a single event. It’s not even a single emotion. I think it’s going to take some time to sort it out. I think writing may be a big part of that.

So, hang with me. I really will create and stick to a blogging schedule this year. Maybe not this month, but soon.